Thursday, December 8, 2011

The Beginning And The End, or "Knockin' on Heaven's Door"

I'm back, everyone. I've had my fill of random carnage and chaos. It's time to get down to business. I have said many times that I am not a Proxy.

This is not true.

I am a Proxy. I don't think I fit anywhere in the ordinary "ranks" (Hallowed, Agents, Revenants, etc). I have never lied about my abilities, but even if I had it would be irrelevant. I am still sane. I am still in possession of my reason and my emotions. Any behavior indicating otherwise was an act, either to obfuscate my true goals or simply to needle certain people that I find frustrating. I have a plan now, my fair readers. Before it can swing into action, though, there are a few loose ends that I feel need tidying up.

1. Constance. She has issued a challenge for me to meet her at my childhood home, and I intend to oblige. I am going to be prepared this time. In addition to my natural abilities, I am taking along several bladed and projectile weapons. I don't care that she'll read this, either. Let her know. Let her try to prepare. I'll win anyway, because I am willing to kill and she is not.

2. The Haven. This one relates to my first point. It isn't enough to me to only destroy Constance. The woman turned me into what I am today. Part of me is grateful, but the rest of me wants to make her suffer for it. So I'm going to destroy her works as well. Her house will burn, preferably with her guests and my ex-husband inside. Failing that, I'll pick them off as they exit. Just for the hell of it I'm going to burn down the town they live near as well. No, this is not evil for the sake of evil. If Constance wants to take responsibility for "creating" me, then I am going to heap as much on her conscience as possible.

3. Robert Sagel. It's his fault I was exposed to the Slender Man in the first place. The man appears to be somehow still alive. I am going to hunt him down if at all possible, and I am going to kill him. I will even provide photographs of his dead body if circumstances allow. I am tired of this interloping bastard wandering in and out of the universe.

4. Gargoyle. No, I am not threatening to go after him. Not yet. However, I would like him to take warning, as I am certain he'll read this at some point. You are going down a dangerous path, Gargoyle. You'll see the Construct at some point, most likely very soon. And once you do, you will be under a death sentence. Be as clever as you like, use whatever methods you please. Sooner or later you will slip up. Or you'll get tired of running. Or you'll just make a simple human mistake. No matter what you do, he will catch you eventually, just as he most likely did to your friend Onewinged. Just like he has to FAR better men than you. If you want to avoid this fate, stop your research and try your hardest to forget everything you know. Otherwise, well...the bell tolls for all men.


Once these problems are resolved, I'll be free to move on with my larger plans. One more thing:

It's going to be a long, cold winter.
On the day I went away...

Goodbye...

Was all I had to say...

Now I...

I want to come again and stay...

Oh my my...

Smile, and that will mean that I may

Cause I've seen blue skies,

Through the tears in my eyes

And I realise.. I'm going home.

Everywhere it's been the same...

Feeling...

Like I'm outside in the rain...

Wheeling...

Free, to try and find a game...

Dealing...

Cards for sorrow, cards for pain

Cause I've seen blue skies

Through the tears in my eyes

And I realise..

I'm going home.

At long long last...

I'm going home...

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Starving, Freezing, So Very Poor

I went out for a walk early this morning. Portland is lively, even at night, but that thriving life seems confined to the bars and arcades and restaurants. In the back alleys, the parks and abandoned buildings, the only signs of life are quiet sighs from the homeless. They look for any spot of warmth, any scrap of food. I walked through an abandoned building where dozens of squatters were sleeping. My silent steps caused no disturbance. I could see their fears and doubts, their resentments and disillusion. I can’t find any fault with most of these people, readers. Their feelings are justified. People like these are the reason I do what I do. The society and social structure in place now is responsible for their existence. It endorses the advancement of a few at the expense of misery and death to thousands of others. How can you people continue to prop it up? How can you continue to support such an ass-backwards way of life?

I know, I know. Most of you are probably expecting me to go on some psychotic-sounding rant about the evils of society and how it needs to be destroyed. To be honest, part of me feels like going down that road today. But I’m not going to. I want to talk to all of you. I want to be serious for a bit. I’m sitting in a Starbucks right now, sipping a large coffee. This coffee shop? It’s right across the street from that squatter building. I slept there last night. It was my choice, but for a lot of them it isn’t a choice at all. More accurately, it’s a choice between sleeping on a shit-stained dirty stone floor or freezing to death. I saw CHILDREN there, INFANTS. How can any of you not see what I see? How can you say this isn’t WRONG?

Several people have asked me about my motives. They want to know why I do what I do. For the most part I’ve given flippant or sarcastic answers. Well…I’m ready to talk about it. I want to destroy this society and the structure behind it because this society endorses misery. It encourages lying, cheating, stealing, and in all ways contributing to the downfall of your fellow man if it leads to your own advancement. I want to end this society because it is responsible for my existence. Its indifference to suffering, its “if I don’t see it, it doesn’t happen” mentality, its casual allowance of any sufficiently “justified” crime…all of these contributed to what I am today. This society is rotting from the inside. It espouses one set of values but functions on another. It is prima facia hypocritical, and no hypocritical thing can survive. This society will implode eventually, with or without my help. My hope is that if I am involved, somebody might survive. A new society might arise, one where people are no longer slaves to their own instincts. I’ll have no place there, but it’s a nice dream anyway, isn’t it? Oh, and to address once and for all my “allegiance”…for now, I side with the Slender Man. He spreads the chaos and fear that I need, both to survive and to accomplish my goals.

Now, if you’ll all excuse me, I’ve got to buy breakfast for 53 adults and 14 children.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

In A War

I’d like to ask all of you a question. Who are you, really? I don’t mean your name, or what you like/dislike, or whatever other superficial shit you think defines “you”. I want to know who you are on the inside, at your core, underneath all the posturing and self-deception.

Do any of you TRULY know yourselves?

I didn’t think so.

None of you are capable of truly understanding your own natures. Some of you are too stupid, others too deluded. Your “morals” and “ethics” cause you to believe things about the world that aren’t true. You think “good” and “evil” are absolutes, but they aren’t. A man’s called a traitor, or a liberator. An army can be crusaders or ruthless invaders. It’s all in which label is able to persist. If history is written by the victors, how can you claim to know the truth? There is no “good” or “evil”. No “right” or “wrong”. Those are merely artificial restrictions you put on yourselves to hide your true selves, to make yourselves acceptable for the stagnant, decaying society you live in and support. It is rotting away around you, and yet you continue to extol its virtues. It infects you, rotting inside you as it rots visibly each day. And you tolerate it, accept it, even CELEBRATE it. I’ve had enough. I will make you see the truth. I will show you your own deepest, darkest, most primal selves. You will either accept them or be consumed by them.

Don’t believe me?

Then let me tell you a little story.

The other day, I was up in Seattle scouting locations for…something you will find out about later. At 2 AM, a cop came onto the construction site I was poking around. He started asking me what I was doing here, who I was, etc. And then he made a mistake.

He got close to me.

I stared into his eyes, and it was like I could see his mind unfolding around us. All his fears, all his petty jealousies and bad memories. The sergeant that hated him. His old partner who’d gotten promoted to Detective by taking credit for busts he hadn’t made. His cheating wife. His own inadequacies on the job and in bed. I could see them all, hear whispers of his thoughts about them, see flashes of visual memories floating around us. It was a cyclone of knowledge, and I just HAD to grin. I knew exactly how to exploit it, you see. I leaned in close, whispering in his ear, knowing exactly what to say and how. I knew how to intone, what pitches to use, what words to choose to provoke terror and despair in this man’s mind. I whispered lovingly for what seemed like hours, telling him of all his own deepest secrets and shames. I could FEEL his mind darkening, slipping into fatal despair. I took a single step back, still giving him my perfect sharp-toothed slasher smile. I only had one thing to say.

“So, Danny…time to end it, I think.”

He nodded. Without hesitation, he shoved his service pistol into his mouth and pulled the trigger. My eyes lit up as the blood and bone and brain matter flew out in a pink cone. I didn’t even care that it was all over me. The exhilaration from what I’d just done was incredible. Do you understand what I’m saying to you, ostriches? I will forcibly pull your heads out of the sand if you can’t do it for yourselves. I will MAKE you see yourselves for who you really are, and if you can’t, then I’ll end you. I’m not just talk, script kiddies. I’m going to change things around here. Hold on to your seats.

There’s a new game in town.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

No One Laughs at God In A Hospital

I live.

You readers wouldn't believe what I have survived since last we saw each other. I left with the intent of hunting Proxies. Even got a couple. Events transpired in a manner I had not predicted, however. I followed a particularly stubborn specimen to the very same lightning lab where I had once had the audacity to try and kill the Slender Man. He was there. He was waiting for me. He...well, I can't say he LOOKED angry. He doesn't "look" ANYTHING, but you readers already know that. He attacked me. He broke me. I thought I would die. I begged him for death, for an end to the agony. I am not ashamed to admit this. It's a natural response to pain and horror. It wasn't granted. He picked me up, the tentacles burning through my skin as blood poured out around them. He brought me into his world. THAT world. I saw things there. Things I will not describe. My vocal cords bled and burst from my screaming, and even then I couldn't stop. I was burnt, frozen, crushed and twisted. I was violated in ways not even possible in this world. My mind and body were laid open for examination by the...things...that live there. At the end, I was given to what you people would recognize as the Bleeding Tree. It is much larger in that world, with ebony bark. When a dark wind blows through it the screams of its victims can be heard, their eternal torment evident as their empty-eyed corpses sway gently on its many limbs.

It ensnared me. It pierced me. It is alive, and sentient, and malevolent. I could feel myself dying, at long last. But at that final extremity, something within me rebelled. It refused to accept my fate. I could feel...something growing inside me, a darkness, an absence of all things that seemed to warp the very space around us. I broke the Tree branch impaling me, falling to the ground. As I landed, I could feel the void within me still growing, still searching for things to consume. It filled my every atom, yearning for MORE. The dark wind stirred again as I reached out, drawing it into me. My wounds healed as the process continued. I became taller, stronger, faster, more intelligent, BETTER in every way. I took a part of the Tree into myself as a reminder of the extremity required for perfection, and then I created for myself an exit from the Slender Man's realm.

I had been there for years, possibly decades, yet I had not aged. I see that a scant few days have passed here. I have a message for all of you. I am capable of things you cannot understand. I am something new. My goal is not simple conquest, or murder, or serving the Slender Man. My goal is simple.

Anarchy.

Whose side am I on? No one's. I'm not a Runner, or a Fighter, or a Proxy or a Revenant. I'm above you all, mentally and physically. I am so far beyond you that it beggars your weak attempts at understanding. I need not food, nor drink, nor sleep. I don't feel pain. All my emotions are sharp, pure, unfettered. I have died, and I have given birth to myself, remade myself in my own image. I am the Nietzchean Ubermensch, self-actualized and self-defining. All of you are pitiful shades of me, mere reflections of what I once was and no longer am. I bring you pain, the kind you can't suffer quietly. I bring you anarchy and the destruction of everything. I will burn this world and dance singing through the ashes.

I am the first self-born.

I am the first Elite.

I am Blight.

Prepare for chaos.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Who's Laughing Now?


Hit play, bitch.

Hehehe...hehe....hahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, oh this is just too incredible...you guys will NEVER believe this....oh...oh, it's just incredible....hehe...hahaha.....hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe......

Lemme vox t'ya a bit, eh mates? So, you may or may not've seen this comment thread. Well, my dear sweetie hubby, it turns out, is either the worlds most fantastic troll or a most heinous and sneaky Proxy who's been under this pretty little nose for way too long. Either way, I hightailed my lovely, oh-so-shapely ass home t'have a talk widdim about it. Soon's I walked through the door, my dear love put a bullet in my stomach. Funny thing, kiddos. Didn't hurt a bit. Barely even felt it. Course, he lost that hand soon after. Y'know people get stronger when they're angry? I broke his wrist, then tore it off. God, his scream made me wet. It was great. If thy right hand offend thee, chop it off, am I right?

He was flailin' around, screamin' about not havin' done nuttin. Y'think I believed im? Not fer a sec, my lovelies. Guess what I did next? That's right, campers! Boot to the cojones. Felt one pop. Delicious sound. Derek's face got this hilarious little puckered expression. Crumpled like a tin can, he did. I landed a few more hits. Knocked out six teeth and broke his nose. After I hauled him up on the couch, got a good look at th'damages. Wasn't enough fer me, so I grabbed my Leatherman and started pokin' holes in him. The pussy was crying. Sobbin' like a little girl. What kinda pissants are you Proxies recruitin' these days? They can't even take a little punishment. I smacked him around a bit more, then set in with th'questions.

"Whydja do it, Derek?"

Prick spat on me, so I took his lips off. Pretty simple solution. Elegant, no?

"Try that again."

He sorta mumbled sometin' about his brother. He don't HAVE a brother. Fuckin' fulla bullshit. I sawed one of his ears off, usin the slotted screwdriver head for maximum pain.

"Keep lyin."

He just kept mumblin'. Disappointin', really. I kinda hoped he'd last longer. Pulled his lanky ass off the couch, throwin' him on the floor. I jumped up and down, smashin' on his torso till it was all paste and broken bones. Then I did the same to his face. I danced on his head, muthafuckas. And took a dump in what used ta be his mouth. Y'fuck with me, this is whatcha get! Now, pardon me if y'would. I'mma go armor up and go proxy-huntin'. Follow my example, o ye Runners! Hide from us, ye Proxies, for yer doom is comin' and it's named KK.

DEATH TO THE SLENDER MAN AND ALL WHO FOLLOW HIM.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Too Much, Too Young, Too Fast

Hello all my wonderful glorious exciting and effervescent friends! Tis I, your favorite Fighter, back from the Great Beyond! Believe it or not, I was kinda dead there for a while. I met God. Or maybe it was Satan. Kinda hard to tell when he’s wearing pantyhose on his head and a suit on his body, huh?  Anyway, he wanted to take me for a ride, but I said “No, sir! I ain’t gettin in a car with no stranger, nuh-uh!” and he backed off. I think I scared him. Course, the big-ass gun I was holding mighta had somethin ta do with it. Y’think that was too much? Nah…nothin’s too much when you’re a badass!

Soo, what’s the body count since I been gone? Has it gone up yet? Have I moved up the leaderboards or the backboards or the outboards or the Chairman of the Board? Fly me to the moon, Frankie, and let me sing among the stars! I am all I long for, all I worship and adore! Dear daffy dipsy devoted Derek is so glad I’m alright. He’s kissing my feet and oiling his gun at the same time! And fuck yes that’s a sex joke! How’s everybody out there in the good ol’ US of Fuckin-A? Hope you’re all good, because I’m fucking AWESOME. Nothing wrong, no sir. I’m better than ever!

Hey, Messenger, you watchin’ me? I sure as fuck hope so. I gotta bone to pick with you. You say you guys aren’t such bad people, alla you Proxy shitheads. If you’re not bad people, why do you do what you do? Why don’t y’all have the balls to stand up and die for what’s RIGHT instead of saving your own asses. And YOU, Andromeda…fuckin’ insane BITCH is what you are. You EAT PEOPLE and think it’s okay. Guess what, guys? I’ve got bullets with both your names on ‘em. Starting now, it’s open season on fuckin’ Proxies. And I ain’t fuckin’ around this time. I know what I’m doin’. Y’all thought my plans were audacious before? I’m five times as smart and twenty times as awesome this time, fuckers!

I came to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I’m all out of bubblegum.

I’m back, bitches!